PETITION – Free the Wolves in the Throne Room!
Nothing is crueler than keeping animals in captivity for human entertainment. Do your part today and help free these poor wolves that have been imprisoned in the throne room for 13 years now. Panting...
View ArticleDeathspell Omega Sues Ministry of Magic
Deathspell Omega conducting a witchhunt last year (Photo: Bozo) POITIERS, France — Bible metal group Deathspell Omega filed a lawsuit against the Ministry of Magic (MOM) for trademark infringement...
View ArticleSigh to Remake “Scenes from Hell” in White Metal Style
Cover Art For “Scenes From Hell” Remake Sigh will remake their classic album “Scenes from Hell”, Hollywood Records announced today. The remake will feature re-recordings of every track in the white...
View ArticleNew Sunn O))) Album Is Silent
The ‘O’ in Sunn O))) is silent, and so is the exalted fridgecore purveyors’ new album. News of this monumental artistic endeavor broke today on the Seattle natives’ Ello page in the form of a...
View ArticlePokémon GO: Jamey Jasta Caught in Florida for Trespassing
In an ironic twist of fate, renowned motivational speaker Jamey Jasta unwittingly became a potential future client of himself. The Hatebreed frontman has been captured in Florida for allegedly...
View ArticleAbbath Comes Out
OSLO, Norway—The legendary ex-frontman of Immortal and eponymous front axeman of Abbath shocked metal fans worldwide Thursday evening when he announced on Twitter that he was “tired of hiding.” After...
View ArticleFleshgod Apocalypse Drummer Passes Turing Test
An artist’s hyperrealistic impression of Franc EZ Co-Pounder 1.0.7 BEIJING, China—The drummer of Fleshgod Apocalypse, Italy’s foremost symphonic tech-death squad, passed the Turing test yesterday,...
View ArticleRihanna Signs with Unique Leader Records
It was a publicity stunt after all. The unveiling of pop megastar Rihanna’s notorious death-metal-styled logos at the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards (VMA 2016) was part of a marketing campaign by her new...
View ArticleHow Jaded Reviewers See Metal Reviews
Adjective Noun verb adverb preposition determiner adjective noun. Pronoun verb determiner noun adjective noun, conjunction pronoun verb adverb determiner adjective noun preposition noun. Conjunction...
View ArticleWormrot Still “Worst Funeral Drone Doom Band”
Wormrot is the first band in Rolling Stone history to have retained a staff and readers’ poll title six times consecutively (Photo: Earache Records) For the seventh year in a row, North African trio...
View Article