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Arch Enemy Endorses Silkpro
(Photo By Matthew Germain) In a move that estranged longtime American sponsor Head & Shoulders, Swedish melo-hair metal titan Arch Enemy announced Tuesday that they have endorsed Singaporean...
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Metal Musician Angry About State of Rock/Metal Music Industry
State of Rock/Metal Music Industry A heavy metal musician armed with a computer and an Internet connection typed an astoundingly illuminating Facebook post on March 18, criticizing the rock/metal music...
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Punk Rocker Joel Grind Supports PETA
Joel Grind Wearing His Favorite PVC Leather Jacket (Photo: Matthew Germain) OREGON — Radioactive punk rocker Joel Grind announced Wednesday that he now supports PETA, flaunting his brilliant lavender...
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Genealogy Expert: Wolves in The Throne Room Not Descended From Angels
The Weaver brothers are reportedly not of angelic descent, but human. (Photo: Allison Scarpulla) WASHINGTON — Wolves In The Throne Room did not descend from angels, said a genealogy company CEO in his...
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Dillinger Escape Plan Still Calculating Infinity
An artist’s impression of The Dillinger Escape Plan’s mathematical experiment NEW JERSEY — Fifteen years after they started the mathematical experiment, mathcore band The Dillinger Escape Plan are...
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PETITION – Free the Wolves in the Throne Room!
Nothing is crueler than keeping animals in captivity for human entertainment. Do your part today and help free these poor wolves that have been imprisoned in the throne room for 13 years now. Panting...
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Deathspell Omega Sues Ministry of Magic
Deathspell Omega conducting a witchhunt last year (Photo: Bozo) POITIERS, France — Bible metal group Deathspell Omega filed a lawsuit against the Ministry of Magic (MOM) for trademark infringement...
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Sigh to Remake “Scenes from Hell” in White Metal Style
Cover Art For “Scenes From Hell” Remake Sigh will remake their classic album “Scenes from Hell”, Hollywood Records announced today. The remake will feature re-recordings of every track in the white...
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New Sunn O))) Album Is Silent
The ‘O’ in Sunn O))) is silent, and so is the exalted fridgecore purveyors’ new album. News of this monumental artistic endeavor broke today on the Seattle natives’ Ello page in the form of a...
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Pokémon GO: Jamey Jasta Caught in Florida for Trespassing
In an ironic twist of fate, renowned motivational speaker Jamey Jasta unwittingly became a potential future client of himself. The Hatebreed frontman has been captured in Florida for allegedly...
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Abbath Comes Out
OSLO, Norway—The legendary ex-frontman of Immortal and eponymous front axeman of Abbath shocked metal fans worldwide Thursday evening when he announced on Twitter that he was “tired of hiding.” After...
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Fleshgod Apocalypse Drummer Passes Turing Test
An artist’s hyperrealistic impression of Franc EZ Co-Pounder 1.0.7 BEIJING, China—The drummer of Fleshgod Apocalypse, Italy’s foremost symphonic tech-death squad, passed the Turing test yesterday,...
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Rihanna Signs with Unique Leader Records
It was a publicity stunt after all. The unveiling of pop megastar Rihanna’s notorious death-metal-styled logos at the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards (VMA 2016) was part of a marketing campaign by her new...
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How Jaded Reviewers See Metal Reviews
Adjective Noun verb adverb preposition determiner adjective noun. Pronoun verb determiner noun adjective noun, conjunction pronoun verb adverb determiner adjective noun preposition noun. Conjunction...
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Wormrot Still “Worst Funeral Drone Doom Band”
Wormrot is the first band in Rolling Stone history to have retained a staff and readers’ poll title six times consecutively (Photo: Earache Records) For the seventh year in a row, North African trio...
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